Burning Hurts Less
by Alex Accursed
Summary: After a small fight, Naruto catches Sasuke cheating. What can the blond do when he comes back, begging for forgiveness? And what can become of his new past time?
1. Chapter 1

Hello Again! I have not given up on my other stories. This one just came to me and I wanted to write it. Sorry the first chapter is so short, I thought it was a good place to end this chapter.

Warning: Shonen ai (two dudes), AU, and, to be safe, OOCness.

Disclaimer: I do not own the anime/manga Naruto or associated characters.

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><p>"Naruto!" He barks at me, and I wriggle farther into the crowd. I don't wanna leave now, Sasu... Still, he catches me, strong arms tugging me to a strong body. Muscules move effortless under his thin shirt. "Come on, idiot. School starts tomorrow." Punching on his chest, I scream about how other people's lovers don't treat them this way. I carry this on for half a block before he rips me away from him. "Fine! Go get a different lover, then! I can't stand being told I'm a bad person because I actually care!" He storms off, leaving me alone and shocked.<p>

Finally, my brain registers what happened, and I chase after him. Chase him right to Sakura's front door, which is open. Peeking in, she's on his lap, and he's smirking.

"I finally got fuckin sick of him." Sakura kisses him, happy that she's got him. She's just some dumb cheerleading brat. When we got together, he said he'd never date her because she's stupider than I am. Seeing this, I feel a knife slice in, turn, and attempt to go farther.

I dash down the stairs, tripping down the last three and falling flat on my face. Blood trickles down, and I hear Sasuke ask "What was that?", but I keep running. Tears from a pain that began inside of me flood out. Entering the empty house causes them to run faster.

After a while...they stop, the tears just stop. I decide to take a shower, but only sit there, burning hot water pouring onto my back. It's too hot, but for some reason, tonight, I like it. When hot turns to cold, I turn off the water, wrap a towel around my waist, and hunt down some matches I bought when there was a bad storm. Using them, I heat up the a fork which I set onto my wrist. Hissing at the pain, grinning at the relief. It's cloud nine here. Sasuke and Sakura can't touch me here. No one can.

With happy thoughts floating through my head, I collapse onto my bed. No one has to know about this. Flicking out the lights, drowsiness fills me to the brim.


	2. The Morning After

Chapter 2!~ Thanks for the replies so far. Since in a couple of my stories my self-harming characters have been called emo, I have decided to say that no, they really aren't. I appreciate the reviews, but just because they harm themselves does not make them emo. Just saying.

ALSO! I was gonna have Sasuke be like "I'm sorry" and Naru be all like "Oh it's fine" but really hate it and hurt himself over it later, BUT since that wasn't written yet, I got the lovely idea to have them argue a little from **muffin_button**. You are a genius and I don't think I did the idea justice.

Warnings: AU, Shonen-ai, arguing, and (probably) OOCness.

Disclaiming: I don't own Naruto, the anime/manga.

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><p>When he texts me, I don't answer until he honks the car horn. "Why didn't you reply?" Tears sting at my eyes.<p>

"Because I know you cheated on me!" I yell at him, but still climb into the car. "Why should I have?" The pain of the burn is surpassed by the tearing pain of the only one I've ever loved cheating.

"I'm sorry."

"Do you th think that will cover this?" Now, it hurts more than anything in the whole world.

"Look, I'm really sorry I let that woman talk me into that." His grip on the steering wheel tightens.

"Why should you be? You got what you wanted." I snap at him.

"Naruto! I love you!" He slams on the , I turn and look at him. He doesn't look at me for a long time. When he does, tears are ringing his eyes. "I love you, but you don't...put out enough." Sex? That's why we're fighting!

"Then fuck someone else! Leave me and go get someone else! I want to make sure this isn't just about sex, but apparently to you it is!" I'm screaming, and, shit, tears are falling.

"No. I love you. Please, please, forgive me." Between each word, he give a feather-light kiss to me. Each kiss makes me weaken, and I know I'll be mad at myself for it later, but I kiss him. It's intense enough that he turns off the car, and we end up in the backseat. When he pulls up a second for air, I cover my mouth with a hand. Gross, drool!

"Sch-school." I pant the word. Sighing, he climbs off of me, into the driver's seat. After a moment, when the car is moving again, I pull myself into the passenger's seat.

"I thought we were gonna have make-up sex right there." My cheeks flush at the smirk that rests on his face. My body's still warm from his hands wandering on it. "Really, you looked so ready to give yourself up." Shaking my head, I can feel tears building again. "Hey, Naru, I'm kiddin." He kisses my forehead and gets out.

"Yeah? Well you cheated on me for sex, so how can I be sure?" Every solid muscle in him tenses. I run to our first hour class because he's so gonna let me have it later.


	3. School Sucks

Hello, I'm back. This chapter is longer than the other two, YAY. I'm not sure if it's well written, review to let me know how I'm doing (and give suggestions? I don't have a planned plot. D:)

Warning: Arguing, Naruto cussing, guys dating guys, OOC, Self-harm, AU

I still don't own it.

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><p>It takes Sasuke until the middle of the day to finally catch up to me. When he does, he does seem to glow with a dark aura. A black, fishnet top shows off the ab-age he's got without breaking, technically, dress code. Tight, black, skinny jeans remind me of all the times he had to climb the tree in my backyard to talk to me...back when we were "just friends". Here, though, on the ground, as my boyfriend, he starts yelling at me about saying something like that this morning.<p>

"Shut up, Sasuke! This whole world does not revolve around you!" My nails dig into his cheek when I slap him. It even draws blood. For a long moment, shock fills those black eyes.

"We'll talk about this after school." The principal stares at us, raising an eyebrow. Sasuke smiles, waves even, and goes to his next class. I can't manage a smile or a wave, but just walk to my next class. The room is tiny, only fits fifteen students and a teacher. Kakashi throws a pencil at me to wake me from my worries.

"Naruto, stay after class." His voice is peaceful and he's known Sasuke and I since we were younger. I think I mumble a yes sir, but the pain's building up again. Staying after class? Can I manage that? He'll want to ask about Sasuke. It's obvious we're fighting. I can't talk about it right now...

Still, I stay after class to speak with our teacher. "Yes, ?" He smiles, I think, at my attempt to be polite. Damn, now he knows something is up.

"You are fighting with Sasuke, aren't you?"

"How did you know?"

"Well, the worried look on your face, Naruto." His voice is gentle. It makes me want to believe that everything will be okay. Only, it won't be okay. "Also, I heard Sakura say-" and I'm gone. There's the bathroom...and here's the stall. Pull the lighter out of my pocket. With shaking hands, I flick it to life. It's terrifying, but I take it to my skin. When blisters start appearing, I nearly yell out in pain, but don't when I hear footsteps. Silently, I curse when the bell rings, signalling that I'm late, again, for class. Letting the flame die, I pull arm warmers out of my backpack. Depression fills me when I realize that they were a gift from Sasuke. Was he cheating when he gave them to me? Probably, but they're useful.

I step into the class and they stare. They stare, and it feels like they just is among the ones staring, but looks happy that I'm using the gift he gave me for my birthday. Hey, would you like to know why? Because you fuckin hurt me! Not that you care, Uchiha. No wonder I used to hate you.

Only, I bite my tongue and take my seat next to him. He turns toward me. "You're late." The teacher and Sasuke say at the same time.

"I know. I'm sorry. I had a chat with Mr. Hatake and forgot to get a pass." The teacher calls him to make sure it's true.

"You're using the arm warmers I gave you." They're almost cute with their black and grey stripes and bows at the wrist and elbow. "They look good on you." He's just trying to make things better between us.

"I bet you tell all the bitches you wanna fuck that." It feels amazing to throw him around like that. The feeling of awesomeness that comes from seeing him so dumbfounded makes me giggle. Seriously giggle. Then, though, he regains his composure, and the feeling is gone.

"Naruto, I thought you knew that I love you." The pretty almost make me buy them. Those eyes that swear to me they're honest make me want to kiss him. Still, the mental image of him and her rises when my hand bumps the desk, and pain forces its way through me.

"No, you just love the chase."

"Naruto, that's not true." His hands grab mine. The pain is blissful, though a reminder of his crimes.

"Let go of me." My voice is firmer than it's ever been with him. He tries his last resort, a kiss, and I almost get suckered into it again. This time, I shove him away. "Don't touch me." With that, he just drops it. Jaw clenching, he turns and faces the blackboard instead of me. At being filled with the feeling that I just lost something important, I almost allow myself to forgive him, beg for my own forgiveness, but I don't do it. Biting my cheek, I keep calm. We'll talk later.


	4. House Call

Hi. Uhm, most of this is song lyrics because I'm so tired of them fighting. Don't worry, I will keep some of the drama going. Naru is getting sick and don't worry, it will cause him yelling and screaming at Sasuke.

BTW! Thank you for the reviews. They actually reminded me to update. Sorry if it isn't as good. :/

Warning: OOC, fluffiness between two DUDES, and self-harm

I don't own the lyrics or the manga/anime Naruto.

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><p>The walk home makes me miss the way his hand fits into mine. It's three miles, and no matter how I try not to think about him, our fighting, or anything involving him, the more it came up. It consumes every other thought in my head. Opening the door, one thought hits me, "You're nothing without him", and makes me flip my lighter out of my pocket. This time, though, I am not looking for pain to calm me down. This time, I looking for pain that leaves a message. Grabbing a clothes hanger, I straighten in...and then set the lighter to it, heating it. NEED bubbles onto my skin with in seconds. It's blissful to ride the white hot pain through my body for the moment it takes to make it. Then, anger flashes through me, white hot. Plans begin to form themselves. Grabbing my cell phone, I dial the phone number that takes me right to his voice.<br>"Naru?" He sounds shocked. "Yep."  
>"I love you, please, let me just-"<br>"How you just let me speak? Maybe you'll see that I actually have something to say!" I yell it, snapping. "I thought our fights were just your way of flirting! If you didn't like them, why did you keep starting them? I took you back after ever single little fight. At some point I should have just said THIS IS ENOUGH! but no, I kept you. Do you know why, Sasuke? Because I fucking don't know why I did. Maybe it was you saying OH, I love you and will wait FOREVER for you to be ready. Maybe it was the way you made me believe that shit." Silent tears slip their way down my cheeks, hot and salty. He's actually silent for a while. "Can I come over?" He asks quietly. "I wanna make things better." Of course you do. Liar.  
>"Sure, whatever." I slam my thumb down on the END button.<br>It takes him thirty minutes to show up at my house, and when he does it's with his guitar. "Can I have a seat?" His black eyes are so honest, and I'm doing as he says without even thinking about it. Sitting in the seat, he brings the guitar up and rests it on his knee. "I know I've done this before to say sorry, but I can't think of any way to say sorry." The first few cords come out as he warms up. Then he stares in my eyes and begins playing for real.  
>"From the get-go, I knew this was hard to hold Like a crash, the whole thing spun out of control Oh, on a wire, we were dancing Two kids, no consequences," his voice is so soft, so loving.<br>"Pull the trigger without thinking There's only one way down this road," here, he draws in a breath, almost timid to go on, but when he realizes that my eyes haven't left him, he continues.  
>"It was like a time bomb set into motion We knew that we were destined to explode And if I had to pull you out of the wreckage You know I'm never gonna let you go We're like a time bomb Gonna lose it Let's diffuse it Baby, we're like a time bomb But I need it Wouldn't have it any other way," and he just stops. Mid-song, just stops. That's when he breaks eye contact.<br>"That's how I feel about us. I love you, but sometimes... I just feel the need to leave, think I'm free and then... fuck. I need you, Naru." Biting my lip does not give me the answers I need. Those dark eyes that I love latch onto the burn on my arm, and lightening fast, he grabs my wrist. "I...I caused this, didn't I?"  
>"Pretty much." A waterfall, almost literally, falls from his eyes.<br>"I'm so sorry, Naru. I'm so, so, so sorry." Finally, I push my pride into a corner.  
>"Please, sing me another song." It takes him a few minutes, but he finally regains his composure, lifts up his guitar.<br>"Ready? I think this one describes...how you feel...about me." A blush covers his face, and starts playing pretty quickly. I know the song, and he doesn't start at the beginning. "Started with a bottle of cheap champagne,  
>Now she's got me hooked on her like the cocaine.<br>She's so numb this novacaine,  
>That girl, that girl.<p>

So no kid, not tonight,  
>You're not that good,<br>And I'm not that type.  
>She's beautiful but she's cold as ice,<br>And that keeps me hanging on.

So what am I supposed to do oh oh?  
>When she's so damn cold like 20 below?<br>That girl, that girl, she's such a bitch,  
>I tell myself I can handle it.<p>

Where am I supposed to go oh oh?  
>When she throws me out, and it's 20 below?<br>That girl, that girl she's such a trick,  
>But I can't lie, I'm in love with it." And of course, he doesn't actually finish it. Mainly because I kiss him.<br>"That's exactly how I feel. You're a bitch and you're usually so cold. Though, you're wrong. I'm not in love." That's why it's so easy to still be mad that you wanted her. You said you'd wait forever.


	5. Taking A Break

This is kinda short, but I couldn't think of anything to do and then I was like "YESS! More conflict!~" because that's what I live for. Thank you for all the reviews for this story so far! I look at them and go "Need to make new chapter!" Sadly, I think this chapter is not only kinda short, but also poorly written. Sorry. :/

I DUN OWN ANIME/MANGA THAT IS NARUTO.

Just saying.

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><p>Sasuke roughly tugs as my hair, and, with pain shooting through me, pulls my face closer to his. "I'm not cheating, Naruto." The words are just said, they're growled. The doubt always lingers because he did. He cheated on me.<p>

"Sasu..." I'm whispering, a complete difference when compared to his loud snarls. "We shouldn't be together anymore. Let's take a break." As I say the words, I feel my whole world break. Still, we can't be together. Not with our fights getting physical. Not with me doubting him all the time.

In his eyes, I can see that his whole world is falling apart. Still, he seems to understand. He lets go of me and just walks out. My legs don't support me when he leaves and soon I'm on the hardwood floor, shaking with surpressed tears.

Suddenly, thoughts come to me, thoughts that Sasuke could be crying over our break up. Then, they're gone, replaced by the thoughts that make my tears spill out. They're replaced by the thoughts that he's perfectly fine with us breaking up, even with his slightly romantic appology a month ago. With shaking hands, the lighter is picked up by hands on auto pilot. When the fire flickers to life, I shake again. This time, though, it's with excitement. The burning pushes all emotions out of me. Despite hissing as the flame turns my skin red I'm smiling. The pain hurts, but I suddenly don't feel like I've gone through a break up. I suddenly feel like I should be dating someone better.

So, the lighter is slipped into my pocket, cold water is placed on the minor burn, and Gaara is called. "Hello," his quiet voice answers. A smile creeps onto my face.

"I broke up with Sasuke. That bitch."

"Why?"

"I caught him cheating a month ago." Gaara's quiet for a moment.

"You should go out with his brother somehow. They hate each other, so it would hurt Sasuke more." It's a wonderful idea. After thinking about it a moment, though, I decide not to.

"Naw, I might get hurt." I don't tell him that Sasuke's and my fights got physical.

"Alright...How about Kiba?"

"He's too...dog-like, you know?"

"I do know...he's mine anyway." Shock hits me square in the face.

"You two are dating!" The shock's obvious in my voice.

"Yeah, but right now we're focusing on your problems." I nearly laugh. "How about Sai? They hate each other and he'd be happy to date your sorry butt."

"That makes it sound like only a select group would want to date me." He does laugh.

"That's how it is, Naruto. So, what about Sai?"

"He kinda weirds me out..."

"You're too picky."

"...I suppose that's true."

"Now, what about Shikamaru?"

Sighing, I honestly consider this one. "He's a lazy ass."

"Meaning he won't cheat." Fuck. He's got me.

"Fine. I'll call him in a second." We hang up and I'm left just staring at the phone for a long moment. Then, with shaking hands, I pick it up. Never have I asked anyone out. Sasuke asked me out. I just said yes.

"Hello?"

"Hey, is Shikamaru home?"


	6. Please Get Help

This is told from **Sasuke's **point of view. Why would I randomly change characters in the middle of the story? I wanna show that Sasuke really does care about Naru and to give hope of them getting back together. To be really honest, this was a fun little chapter to write. It's also to show those of you who hate my Sasuke that he's got his problems at home (I had to come up with a reason for him to be so cold)

I do not own Naruto, the anime/manga, or any of the characters.

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><p>It's been a month. A month since he replaced me with Shikamaru. It's been a month since we spoke. The scars are still showing up on his body where he burns himself. Walking up to him now, I plan on confronting him. Half way there, I realize he's around friends. I turn and won't let myself even think about ruining his reputation as a happy person.<p>

Class seems to drag on and on as I think of ways to talk to him without seeming like an ass. When we get down to it, I am, but I love him. Wow. I just admitted to loving someone. Amazing.

Spinning my pencil, I think about it even more. Then, my thoughts start to wonder. The way his tanned cheek felt under my hand when I pulled him into a really close kiss. The way my heart pounded so fast when we kissed for the first time, even though it was an accident. Looking up at him, two rows to the left, three seats forward, my heart starts racing again like that. He's still as amazing of a person as he was when we first met.

That night, I pick up my cell phone and call his. Once, twice, three times it rings before he answes. "What do you want, Sasuke?" What did I want again? My heart to not leap into my throat and then crash back down at the venom he has in his voice when he says my name?

"I want you to get help. We're not even together and you're still burning yourself. I get that I cheated. I know that it was horrible, but you need to look out for you. Get help. Please." By the end, I'm begging him to do it, not just asking. He's the only one I would get on my knees and beg for. Before he can answer, I hang up. Self-harm hurts a lot. Glancing at my own wrist with scars from not even a week ago faded, I remind myself that I can stop when I want. I'm not weak like Naruto. My older brother's voice haunts my head, though, "Sasuke, I'm not dealing with another suicide attempt. Everyone was really worried when you didn't show up to school for a few months." Itachi knows how to word things so that they get under my skin.

Naruto calls back nearly an hour later. "Hey, Sasu...I called a therapist about...it. You're right, I need help. It's been over a month since we broke up and I'm still doing it." I smile to myself and silently swear that so long as he's getting better, I won't hurt myself.

"That's great, Naruto. Why are you calling me?"

"I...I don't know. I wanted to see if, maybe, we could try again?" This has to be a trick, but even if it is, I'm powerless now.

"I'd love to. I mean, if you want to."

"Yeah, at least while I'm going through therapy, though, we should stay away from each other." The world around me crashes, only I'm not there. I'm in space, suffocating because there's no oxygen here. When I slam back into Earth, my heart is still trying to be in space, so it's in my throat, still suffocating me.

"That's...cool too." I mutter, hanging up before the conversation can progress farther.

Staring at the box sitting on top my dress, I move without thinking about the action. Coming back from cloud nine, I'm greeted with bloody wrists. The cuts are deeper than anything I've ever done, except for one time, and I almost go to find Itachi. Instead, my head is kept on right as I get up from the desk where I called Naruto from. Instead of finding my older brother, I go to the bathroom, get into the medical cabinet, and wrap my arms up with gauze. It hurts, just a little, but it'll work. Wondering back into my room, I fall onto my bed, eyes closed, arms crossed under my head. When will Mom be home from her business trip? Is it the same time Dad's going to be home?

I really hope not.

Waking up the next morning is weird. I don't remember falling asleep. "You're going to be late." Itachi says as I run out the door. I already know that! Seeing Naruto, though, smiling, makes me calm down a little.


End file.
